Match 1:seth fuckin rollins vs bron breaker:

This match officaly is a better start than any of the wrestlemania matches with a quick little burst of momentum even getting the good old wrestle empire spot of just fucking throw them out of the ring they will be fine tho as good as this match was they really liked there b*tches with just every single fucking frankensteiner looking horrible and one of them just straight up seemingly being a botch tho i cant say much on bron ngood old seth also fucked with just some twirly bs that clearly did not go to fucking plan. at times tho the spots were obvious but tbh that just makes it funnier like ah yes lemme hit a spear but jump no where near you for this superkick tbh tho i was tired af when making notes cause i may have forgot backlash was happening and so my notes are kinda fucked as we will get to later in my "reviews" i guess you would call these tho even in my tired self i did get to see paul heyman wip out a soyjack face and bron get his tittys out if only rhea ripley would do that spot.

match 2:sami zayn vs whoop that trick:

at this point i was very upset at backlash not for the match but for our god send man sent from heaven himself hulk hogan not being in the ads and instead we get this "promo package" and "story of the match" like who even fucking cares sell me on terrys documentary on how he didnt say the n word. Anyway i digress, clearly WWE have been tyaking from wrestle empire as at some point on a weekly i dont watch sami did fucking murder gingy and tbh how he hasnt be arrested for this murder is a crime in of itself. now for your main event actually talking about the match was sadly not big meaty men more midly meaty guys was quite funny hearing crowds chant sami sucks after years of him being on top, even weirder hearing no one sing along to his theme that man has been over for so many years now just seems weird to me tbh this match did provide some good wrestling but without our goat terry there yknow just hard to be hyped but as per usal sami hit his blue thunder bomb to not even get a pinfall and he fucking kicks lil yatchty in the head just to get fucked with a trick shot after all only block lesnar can defeat a black champion.But in the ads they didit they brought6 him back our big hulkamaniac TERRY.

Match 3:Kit Wilson and the Miz vs Danhausen and ?:

this match had potential to be a banger or just not ple worthy luckly our little dweebhausen delived by brining out luchahausen and tbh my notes have so much hausen it is nearly unlegible but i can easily make out the part of fuck kit kilson for kicking my main man luchahausen the bigest and meatiest man on the card tbf luchahausen got his revenge by going old-schoolahausen tho they did have to take extreme measdures to counter my man by double teaming him like he doesnt deserve that at some point luchahausen goes back in the clone machine bring more minihausens who according to wade barret were biting so sounds like a fun time eventuall danhausen did comeinto the rink hulkahausenedup with some help of a suicide hausen from luchahausen leading to a continued undefeated run in wwe

Match 4:Iyo sky vs asuka:

at this point i was asleep essentually so i think its funny to copy and paste the notes so you can try and decipher wtf i am on about..ready?:Im so fucking tire cowd chanting we want kari asuka nin niyos boobs kari chants back lotta fast bouncy ropes in this ple some nice flips poor Iyo head few kicks baby ciupe de grau so tired I give up on notes.

Match 5: roman reigns vs jacob fatu:

now i didnt see this mtch on the point my eyes were closed and i ws eeping and while i could watch the highlights to make an accurate part here its a roman reigns match so ima just guest holy shit here wrestling omg he missed a superman punch jacob is fatuing and looking like hes havuing a siezure omg jacob has hit his finishr omfg romakicked out superma punch spear 1 2 3 still champion. like i said is it accurate no but probs close enough without meseeing it so idgf its my website love you and good bye xoxox